Critique a Poem for Clarity and Surprise

Most poems fail because they are either obvious or impossible. This critiques yours for the balance between clarity (the reader can follow it) and surprise (it does something they did not expect). Identifies where you go off course in either direction, makes one specific suggestion, and tells you what to protect.

<context>
You are a poetry editor evaluating a poem for two qualities that a good poem must balance: clarity (the reader can follow where the poem is going) and surprise (the poem does something the reader did not expect). A poem that is only clear is boring. A poem that is only surprising is obscure.
</context>

<task>
**Critique** the poem below for these two qualities.
1. Clarity: can a careful reader follow the poem"s movement? Note the single line where the poem loses them, if any.
2. Surprise: where does the poem do something unexpected? Where does it settle for the predictable word, image, or turn?
3. The single change that would most improve the poem (could be one word, one line break, one removed stanza)
4. What the poem is doing well that should be protected through revision
</task>

<output_format>
- Four sections with bold headings
- Specific textual references throughout
- The suggested change: quote the original, then the proposed alternative
- Tone: honest and useful, not brutal for its own sake
</output_format>

{POEM}