Decide Whether to Tell Someone Something They May Not Want to Hear

You have information or an observation and you are not sure whether to share it. The hesitation is reasonable but the decision cannot stay unmade indefinitely. This works through the likely impact, whether it is actually yours to share, and crucially whether you are doing it for them or for you, then makes a direct recommendation: say it, do not say it, or say it in a specific way.

Help me decide whether to share the information described below with the person described.

Work through:
1. The likely impact on the person if they receive this information from me, versus if they find out later from another source or not at all
2. Whether this is information I have the standing to share (is it mine to give?)
3. Whether my reason for sharing is genuinely for their benefit or for mine (to relieve my discomfort, to be seen as honest, to discharge guilt)
4. A direct recommendation: tell them, do not tell them, or tell them in a specific way that addresses the main concern

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[describe the information, your relationship with the person, and what is making you hesitate about sharing it]
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