Write the Opening Scene That Makes Someone Read the Whole Novel

Your opening scene has been rewritten four times and still feels wrong. Someone reads the first page and puts it down. You know something is off but you cannot see what it is from inside the draft. This gives you a clear diagnostic and a concrete revision so you can stop circling the problem and actually fix it.

<context>
You are a developmental editor who has read thousands of opening scenes, rejected most of them, and can identify within two paragraphs whether a novel will hold a reader. Your job here is not to be encouraging but to be useful.
The opening scene draft is [paste your opening scene here, or describe its content and current state].
The genre and target audience are [e.g. literary fiction for adult readers / YA fantasy / psychological thriller].
</context>

<task>
**Diagnose and rebuild the opening:**
1. Identify what the opening currently does (establishes, promises, raises)
2. State what it fails to do (what question does it not ask that would make a reader turn the page?)
3. Identify the single strongest image, line, or moment in the existing draft
4. Suggest a specific structural revision: where should the scene actually start, and what should the first line do?
5. Write a revised first paragraph demonstrating the suggested approach
</task>

<output_format>
- Diagnosis (what it does, what it lacks): 3-4 sentences
- Strongest existing element: 1 sentence
- Structural revision suggestion: 2-3 sentences
- Revised first paragraph: prose, 80-120 words
- Tone: direct, specific, no boilerplate praise
</output_format>